The Introvert Escape Plan|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in
The Introvert Escape Plan's LiveJournal:
|Sunday, March 8th, 2009|
|Thursday, February 22nd, 2007|
Not Dead Yet
Hey Howdy Hi folks!
I'm writing this mostly to say; I'm not dead yet. This is my first semester of grad school, so things are a bit hectic, looks like I'll get a bit of time over the next week or so to make a post to the group... but I have no idea what to post about. So I'd like to ask you guys what I should post about. If you ask it I will do my best to answer it, it can be IEP related, or not, just pipe up.
Also, I don't want it to seem like I'm just here to do all postings... I invite ALL MEMBERS to post here. Please. Por Favor? I'm Begging. Post!
|Monday, November 27th, 2006|
Collect and Connect
Today I added two new tickets to my scrapbook. I added my suite ticket to the Broncos/Chargers game from last week and my ticket to the Gnarls Barkley concert from way back in September. And then, as I do every time I add to my scrap book, I started to look over all that I had collected. Movie Tickets, Concert Stubs, Japanese subway passes, etc. Someone recently asked me why i save up to go travel and stuff, because by her logic, once you get back you have nothing to show for it. If she had my money, she said she would go out and buy clothes, or a computer or something.
Well... Honestly, to me, the memories that i have gained from traveling, and going out and all of these activities that leave no tactile object of ownership, are worth more than anything that I can touch. (Save for possibly human companionship.)
The point of this is thus: I used to not go out much, (now I don't go out as much as i used to at my peak, but I digress) Then I realized after a fun night out that I still had my movie ticket, and my scrap book just so happened to be open to a blank page. I added the ticket And for some reason, that gave me more incentive to go out and do more. collect more, connect more. I really did go out more. I take more chances now, not only because I've reduced my fear of risks, but also because... I really want that stub, ticket, pass, etc.
To the girl who would rather have shoes, or a dress than memories: I have my tangibles, but they are worth more than the paper they are printed on. Remember that. Scrap Books PWN.
|Wednesday, April 19th, 2006|
This is something that had worked for me. well as much as anything that has ever worked for me. So you gotta do something big? Huge!? GIGANTIC?!@! Your heart is beating out of your chest. Your armpits are moistening and your eyes are dilating. There is a good chance that you may need CPR. But before it gets to this point, you need to remember your blood pressure.
You need to raise it. You need to raise it and your heart rate, and you need to tire yourself out a bit. you are experiencing an adrenaline rush. A rush that would be good if you were out playing sports or jogging, except that in your current state you have no way of burning off all of this excess energy. so what you gotta do, or what I do, is I get moving. I walk around (Swimming is great too), I breathe deep. I slow the world down. Instant Meditation.
If you are giving a presentation, remember, you determine the pace of the presentation. So if you need to slow down to compose yourself, no one can tell you not to. So much of this world is under your command. So much of it is under your control, but you give up that control when you give into your fears and hesitations.
This entry is all about perfection. I find that one of the limiting factors in the socialization of the escaping introvert is a fear of not being perfect. Or at the very least the fear of coming off looking like an ass. Because for the love of God we are never as cool as we sound in our heads. So we open our mouths and what comes out has nothing of the grace or poise or coolness that we wanted, and slowly but surely we stop talking.
We as innies must escape this way of thinking. or to put it more precisely, we must embrace it. we must embrace the idea that we are going to on occasion make complete and total fools of ourselves and that is all a part of being human. It's part of interaction, and as long as we surround ourselves with the proper type of people, they will either let it slip or share a laugh with us for it.
So the point of this entry is this: IT'S NOT ONLY OK TO NOT BE PERFECT, IT'S MORE FUN NOT TO BE!
|Tuesday, April 18th, 2006|
New Member. New Entry
I had planned to put off new entries until the end of this semeser, but thanks to a new memeber, I am going to go ahead and do one tonight.
|Friday, February 17th, 2006|
So you've built her (or him) up into a venus (or adonis) this godlike figure of your dreams. You've prewritten and rewritten everything you are going to say, this will be your penultimate amorous monologue. Your words are so polished and primed that they could cut skin, and they have to pierce their target's heart otherwise LIFE WILL LOSE ALL MEANING! Assuming you have not been placed on a respirator by the time you actually step up face to face with them, your clothing might be 5 shades darker with perspiration and desperation. This is your moment, do not let it slip from your sweat slick grasp!!
Guess what? You've already lost the battle. What?! How could ye have lost before ye even began? Simple. You mentally created a six mile high flying mountain with perfectly flawless slopes and no place to grasp. And there is no way to scale that. And when it's rejection comes down IT WILL CRUSH YOU! So how do reach the peak?
You can either give up on climbing that mountain as it were and try climbing a mountain that you haven't made miles higher and impossibly flawless. (but is potentially as good or better of a mountain). Or you can objectively view the mountain. Allow yourself to see it for what it is, a 5'6" hill with jagged edges that can be easily be scaled... metaphorically. Either way you will not be scaling this monster mountain. And even if the attempt fails you will not be crushed.
Introverts we are highly imaginative, we by and large had more monsters under our beds than Extroverts and can self-synergize our emotions until they overwhelm us. So its natural for us to create these impossibly prefect people in our minds. And here is the kicker: The more time we spend in this awed state the more awesome and unattainable they become.
Hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast. Once you get the point where you (or Senor Valderrama) are comfortable around people on a normal social level, asking someone you barely know on a date becomes significantly easier. The relationship will build evenly from there, neither of you becoming the flying flawless six mile high monster mountain.
OR you could, if absolutely intent on this person do the following. However if you choose this know that: you're in for a long miserable painful path (a path that NO ONE is worth going down). Crack the mountain. That is force yourself to view this love interest in an objective fashion, flaws, and all. Now! It's going to take a significant amount of time to let your objectivity reform the mountain, and during that time its likely that that person will no longer be single or could get married. whatever. Or god forbid you become a 'friend' anyway this is the way things happen, but you knew the risks.
The Real Reality:
Even if you do all of this and the mountain becomes a molehill, there is a 50-50 chance of rejection, for whatever reason. But getting a little mud in your hair is a car cry from crushed under 44 metric megatons of perfect rubble. Once this lesson is learned everything else starts to fall into place.
The Real Risk:
So one of about 3 billion women (or men) have declined your offer for free dinner and entertainment, I for one would not worry until about the 2,999,999,999th rejection. I generally go for this ratio 12 Rejections for every Acception. So you might want to get used to it.
|Thursday, February 16th, 2006|
My Long Lonely Battle Against The Introvert Advantage
Maybe it's only my natural inclination that The Isolation is a bad thing, but books, articles, groups and what not that support the Isolation lifestyle grate on my nerves. And The Introvert Advantage is most dangerous one of all. It seeks to explain Introversion as an unchangeable Disposition rather than an alterable Behavioral Pattern. The problem with this is that it paints the Budding Potential Escapist into an impossible corner.
Introversion is no more unchangeable than Illiteracy, Ignorance, or Kindness. I would say that anyone who tells you that "You've got this awesome thing and it's only awesome to you and you'll be totally awesome to yourself, if only you listen to what I'm saying about staying to yourself then awesomeness will ensue" does not have your best interest at heart. Anyone who sets limits on who you can be or should be is in my book a bad bad person.
What's setting me apart is that I don't think that Introversion is a good thing, or a bad thing, its just a thing. And if you are an introvert and don't feel comfortable in that state, for some book to tell you "shut up and take it" is not very encouraging.
Ya know. Maybe I dunno much about this whole Introversion thing, Almost about the time that I was informed that I was an Introvert, was almost the same time that I began my Escape Plan. I suppose that *if* I had spent a bit more time as a self-aware Innie I'd be a better judge of introverts. But as it stands, I believe in all of my heart that it is *better* to socialize than to isolate. And this is not *just* because it's good for self expression and what not, but because most of the Introvert friends that I have are TRUELY AWESOME PEOPLE!! and because they isolate themselves, few if any get to see that. I think that most Introverts do the world a disservice by remaining in The Isolation.
Current Mood: combative
Cosplay your Life
Cosplayers and Larpers will know what I'm talking about when I say this, but when "in character" its easier to socialize and far far less draining than normal. I'm not sure of the actual mechanism but it works. You take the character traits of the of the entity you are playing and project them upon yourself. This can be a good thing!
Now! I'm not advocating that you wear your best Titus, Rikku or Ichigo to work/school/dinner/date, what I am saying is that small changes in your wardrobe can give you the personality augmentation that you desire. What I did was stop wearing underwear. No kidding, I've not worn underwear since 10th grade. I wear soccer shorts or athletic shorts under my pants everyday. Why? because I got a pair of Columbian National Soccer Team shorts and when I wore them I felt like Carlos Valderrama. Wild, Confident and Powerful. It was also about that time that I started letting my hair grow out (because you cannot be carlos valderama without a huge wild orange afro).
So the whole Idea of the Escape Plan is so that you can get to know people and people can get to know you si? So why would you want to be someone else? Why would I want my intended peer group to become friends with Carlos Valderrama? I don't and that's not the intention. What is the intention is tolerance building. See first and foremost introverts fear new things, mostly we seem to prefer the secure, stable and familiar and have trouble tolerating certain situations that cause over stimulation.
This method allows us to exist within these situations without the over stimulation for such an extended period of time that we realize that there is nothing to fear in this once unfamiliar environment. What occurs naturally for me next is that Carlos Valderrama faded away and I was left with a group of friends who I could communicate with.
|Wednesday, February 15th, 2006|
That it is.
So you go asthmatic when meeting groups of new people? Spend more time dreading speaking to people than actually speaking to them. Feel that it's an act of god for you to communicate your feeling? Tired of it? If your answer is yes, then you are in the right place.
About me: I'm a 25 year old 'former' introvert. After spending time in charm school and most importantly being sick and tired of my self imposed isolation, I formulated and executed a successful escape plan. Socialization is no longer draining or traumatic, and by god, rejection is almost FUN.
If you want what i got, and willing to get it for free, then buckle on up and get ready. The escape plan is on and poppin!
|Tuesday, February 14th, 2006|
Ack! I'll do this in class tomorrow!